By Timothy Kitchen Jr
There is a dangerous spirit that can enter a church without looking dangerous at all.
It can appear loyal.
It can appear protective.
It can appear concerned about “unity.”
It can even appear righteous.
Yet underneath it all may be the desire to come out on top.
The Apostle John identified this problem in one man:
“Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not.”
—3 John 9
The problem with Diotrephes was preeminence.
He wanted to be first.
And look at what followed:
“…prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would…”
—3 John 10
Notice the progression:
Preeminence → words → exclusion → control of others.
Diotrephes didn’t merely make his own decision. He attempted to control what OTHER brethren were permitted to do.
That same pattern can happen today.
Someone can manipulate a situation without openly lying. They simply tell the parts that make themselves look good.
They contact influential people first.
They frame themselves as concerned and reasonable.
They characterize the other person as rebellious, bitter, divisive, unstable, or having a “bad attitude.”
Then the story spreads.
By the time the other person speaks, opinions have already been formed.
And Proverbs warns us:
“He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.”
—Proverbs 18:17
The first story can sound convincing—until the other side is heard.
Ten people repeating one person’s accusation are not necessarily ten witnesses.
Sometimes they are simply ten echoes.
And manipulation becomes especially dangerous when a person creates circumstances where every possible response makes the accused look guilty.
If they answer, they’re argumentative.
If they remain silent, the accusation stands.
If they ask questions, they’re rebellious.
If they disagree, they’re divisive.
If they withdraw, they’re accused of separating themselves.
If others help them, those people may suddenly find their own loyalty questioned.
That is not righteous government.
That is manipulation.
John tells us Diotrephes “forbiddeth them that would.”
Think about that.
Other brethren apparently WOULD have received those whom Diotrephes rejected.
But he interfered.
Whenever Christians become afraid to help someone, associate with someone, hear someone’s side, ask questions, or follow their conscience because they fear what influential people will think of them, something is wrong.
Paul said:
“For we have not dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy…”
—2 Corinthians 1:24
There is another warning here.
The appearance of righteousness must never become more important than righteousness itself.
Christ warned:
“Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men…”
—Matthew 23:28
An organization can become more concerned about protecting its reputation than correcting injustice.
A leader can become more concerned about appearing right than admitting a mistake.
A congregation can become more concerned about maintaining an accepted narrative than asking:
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?
God is not interested in protecting appearances.
God is interested in TRUTH.
And this warning isn’t merely about ministers.
Before identifying someone else as Diotrephes, every one of us should ask:
Do I tell stories in ways that always make me look right?
Do I leave out facts that might help someone understand the other person’s position?
Do I recruit allies before speaking directly to someone?
Do I use relationships with influential people to strengthen my position?
Do I punish people socially because they disagree with me?
Do I confuse disagreement with ME with disagreement with GOD?
Can I admit when I was wrong?
David prayed:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart… And see if there be any wicked way in me…”
—Psalm 139:23-24
John gives us the answer immediately after describing Diotrephes:
“Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good.”
—3 John 11
And then Scripture gives us the ultimate contrast:
Speaking of Jesus Christ:
“…that in all things HE might have the preeminence.”
—Colossians 1:18
There it is.
Diotrephes wanted the preeminence.
But the preeminence belongs to CHRIST.
When Christ truly has the preeminence, we don’t have to manipulate circumstances to protect ourselves.
We don’t have to control the narrative.
We don’t have to silence questions.
We don’t have to isolate people.
We don’t have to make ourselves appear right.
We can simply seek the truth.
The spirit of Diotrephes asks:
“How do I preserve my position?”
God’s Spirit asks:
“What is true?”
The spirit of Diotrephes asks:
“How will this make me look?”
God asks:
“What is right?”
And there should ultimately be only ONE who comes out on top:
JESUS CHRIST.
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